Love is nothing but an elaborate give & take. You have something someone needs and in exchange of it, you get what you want
– 20 year-old Me (misguided, misinformed and a true rebel without cause)
That was a pretty lame philosophy, but it worked back then…or maybe it didn’t. But it did make the acnes look less depressing, boosted a little bit of self-esteem and brought in a lot of attitude. But was it true? Nah, must have been one of the stupidest philosophies till date, well after the epic quote from yours truly ‘everything in life can be solved if you sit back and enjoy the show!!!’
Not to say that 10 years after, roughly bringing us to today, the belief in the concept of love has changed drastically because it hasn’t. But along the way, you see things, marriages both arranged and love, break ups-messy & sweet, affairs- scandalous & ridiculous, divorces- extreme and meaningful and you feel there might be just more to it that a phrase, sentence or quote. But then, this, coming from someone who never looked up to anyone or aspired to be someone, should serve as a reminder to all readers that isn’t advice, it just introspection and to all due credit, it might be severely flawed.
Love, if there is an emotion like that, lives & breathes on the concept of compromise, compatibility and connect. We are still giving, but the give here is to give-up, give up on those things that your partner will feel better about if they cease to exist. Your annoying quirks, your ridiculous habits, your offensive BO, your love for weapons (well that last one, might be a bit personal) etc. But giving-up is the essence of it, which then gets converted into a word called “understanding”. While, arranged marriages bring in the giving-up scenario as an aftereffect to an understanding between two people, love marriage make the a prerequisite to the understanding between two people- in short, former maybe a surprise while the latter is definitely a negotiation. While the giving-up is necessary, it only works till you don’t feel like the giving-up has turned into giving-in.
We still take, but the take here is taking-in, as in absorbing. Taking to the love of Chinese food even though you spend an hour in the loo after, taking to watching rom-coms or action movies which you previously hated, taking in to the fact that you will never ever have a decision which will not be argued commented or debated upon. In short taking to those factors and facets of life, that before seemed as ridiculous as spending money to buy UNO cards when you already had normal playing cards. This taking- in is called “being a better person”, no you are never a better person you are practically the same human but now you have a load of annoying things that you are a part of.
So is love good, bad, weird or wonderful? Depends on the give and take. Take in the meaningful and give up the stupid, take till you can take no more and don’t give up so much that you are not the same person anymore. Somehow that’s a compromise you can live happily with and still have things to connect on from the stuff you taken.
And this so called “give and take” should help you exist or occur together without problems or conflict. And that’s the definition of ‘compatible’. There is no compatibility criterion where you can ensure that things won’t change but then …
…Love maybe nothing but an elaborate give and take, but when you have nothing to give yet someone still lets you take, that’s when I guess you are in love
– SeethingSage (still misguided, misinformed and a true rebel without cause)