You have a kid, you care for your kid…
The kid grows up, you care for him more…
The kid is no longer a kid & you are an older you, your kid starts caring for you…
The older you get, the more he cares!
That’s how it’s supposed to be, direct, simple & natural. You can quote it or rephrase it with flowery text, but at the end of the day, the logic & dynamics don’t change. Folks care for their children & one day the circle of life should complete by the children showing the same care for their folks.
Maybe, a lot of us are successful in doing so, but are we really doing it the right way? Do we have the time, patience, understanding & the tenacity to deal with an ageing parent. The complexities of life, love, profession & relationships seem to be overbearing on their own, and sure as hell they don’t make it easier, but that’s ageing, and it is hard!
For someone who has seen you grow up from an 1 ft monster to a 5ft something caring adult, the transition of care can be jarring and they would not think much about your decision making skills in lieu of your past escapades. Added with the layer of changing times & technologies, things will get ugly but that is how it is, & how it will be. We may have not signed up for it, but then they also didn’t sign up to reproduce something like us, when we happened, we changed their lives but they went with the flow.
Someone once said, we should take care of our parents for one day our kids will take care of us. To be honest, that should never be the incentive. Our kids might be asses based on their upbringing, but that doesn’t justify why the circle should be left incomplete. Again we might say, my folks don’t want help or they don’t ask for it. Did you ask for it? Did come out with a list of what needs to be done to make you the way you are today. Nobody asks, nobody gives, we do what has to be done & we do it because it needs to be done.
Finally there are those who are a product of divorces or bad upbringing (or so they feel). They didn’t do it for us why should we do it for them, that’s the adopted philosophy here. But if that ever was a benchmark, sadly you are just a bad human who measures the efforts of your own kith & kin before selflessly putting in an effort for them. u
All said & done, they are getting old & they need us. Our parents might not be a version of the divine like the holy texts states, but they are our creators in a literal sense & we owe that much to them. They did it for us. In the time, resources & conditions they faced, they made us capable enough to today read, comment, like or criticise this blog. So if you have reached here, someone somewhere did something right by you.
There is no secret, there is no formula, there is just care & how caring can we be for those who cared for us. Maybe its better we care now, for the day we realise that we haven’t cared enough, might just be a little too late.
This is the fear I live with, the fear that I need to care more, more than my excuses, my time, my profession & my love. I hope that just in this case its, “better now than never…”
– Sage-ing Out