The Litmus Test of Travel…


Over time, we humans have developed into a mature and accepting species. We have embraced the concept of polar opposites, like the good and the bad, the guys who like girls and the guys who like guys, the possibility of a heaven and the existence of hell and so on and so forth. Yet when it comes to travel and travel lovers, someone who hates travel is at par with a social outcast.

You don’t like to travel?

Were you dropped as a child?

So you are an ass who wants to be different?

So to prove me wrong, she decided to take me overseas to Seychelles, an exotic location with sandy beaches and a cut different from the hectic city life which she believes would change my outlook forever. It was more of a litmus test, if I like it, I would succumb to the world and seven seas, if I don’t, I shall be let back to my room with my air conditioner on full blast and a limited yet preferred view to the outside world. Game on! The grump that I am would ensure that the litmus test would work in my favour.

Now as my trip ends I wouldn’t like to admit how beautiful or relaxing the trip was, because that wouldn’t serve my purpose. I shall focus on the negatives, like the immigration slip asks you the reason for travel but there is no option “forced by wife” or the long immigration queue where almost everyone seems equally nervous to stand in front of a guy who seems equally disinterested.

The fact that you have been bad at maths all your life doesn’t really work when you are travelling abroad. To make it worse, you are introduced to the currency system of a different country which you fail so miserably to understand that that you end up carrying a pant dropping amount of loose change only to realise at the last moment that you could have taken paper bills of the same amount. Then there is the food dilemma, where after ordering food you are praying that your food doesn’t come with a pair of eyes staring back at you.

Also adding to this misery is the element of uncertainty of should you tip or not. The best help you get is ‘tip if you want to’!!! Who in their right mind wants to actually leave a tip, they do it to not look cheap. And if you say that, the reply is, ‘he doesn’t know who we are, how does it matter?’ So now you are confused and you are cheap and you are playing mind games with the waiter. To save the best for the last, the should we explore the place and culture. I am sure you should, I am yet to understand the culture of my country, you really think I would be able to understand a foreign culture!!! And even if I tried to, the most common reply I get from all sides is, NO (if it’s a question), NOOOOOOOOO (if it’s an assumption).

But not to digress, did the litmus test work, would I travel ever again…after the innumerable selfies and the incessant number of foreigners who try to be nice polite and greet us every time we pass them, I realised my better half loved the trip. Even more with a grump like me, she made the best of it, kept her energy high, didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. The litmus test of travel may have not passed, but the secret test of the travel companion passed with flying colours.

To say I may travel again abroad would be a bit premature but to say I won’t mind travelling if she tags along would be appropriate. I still hate travel, it’s just that I hate it less when she is with me…


…sage-ing out


2 thoughts on “The Litmus Test of Travel…

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